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This real-time report is made possible through the generous contributions of internet piracy, which is probably the best kind. Of piracy. Most of these fights are available at Daily Motion right now.

Antonio Braga Neto vs. Ryo Kawamura

Rd 1

Brag comes out looking for the takedown right off the bat, working hard for the double-leg. Kawamura manages to stand up against the corner before Neto takes him down with a more decisive double and quickly secures the mount. It’s possible (probable, even) that I’m watching these fights out of order, but at this point the pure white canvas is lovely. Kawamura gets tired of the punching — which doesn’t look particularly damaging, but which totally keeps happening — and gives up his back. Neto applies a firm-looking body triangle. I think the body triangle is sometimes overlooked: it really, really sucks to be stuck in a tight body triangle. (Did you know: the body triangle is known as do jime, in judo and is a forbidden technique in competition.) Kawamura rolls and rolls and impressively finds his way out, and seems eager to stand and trade, but Neto wraps him up in the corner to end the round — a good one!

Rd 2

Kawamura looks amped up and ready to go to start the second, and throws some fairly wild punches before slipping, standing back up, and kind of scurrying away. Neto has him back on the ground following the strange scurrying. Kawamura looks a little lost on the ground here. I am unfamiliar with his work so I don’t know how representative this is of his technique generally, but he is seriously outclassed on the ground, and is doing well to survive. Neto comes, well, ok, not that close to an armbar from the back — it looked promising for a moment, but Neto allowed too much space to develop for the technique to be effective. Nice left hook from Kawamura, and a big right hand seems to have convinced Neto to try to get this back to the ground. Kawamura gets a decent standing kimura grip off of Neto’s takedown attempt that gets a nice little “hwaaayyyyy” from the Tokyo crowd. Kawamura ends up on top in an awkward position against the ropes, tied up in half guard to end the round. Not the most crisp technique on display here, but a compelling enough fight through two rounds. They look to be even at a round each at this point.

Rd 3

The round begins with the fight in microcosm: Kawamura wants to stand and trade, while Neto would much rather have the fight on the ground. Neto gets his way, and is quickly in side mount. After a restart away from the ropes, Kawamura stands up and plants Neto, and now it’s Kawamura in side mount and starts . . . well, “unloading with” would be overstating the nature of these knees to the side, but there are knees, and they are connecting. Yet another “stopdon’tmovestopdon’tmove” positions our fighters in the centre of the ring with Kawamura briefly in side control before Kawaura decides he’d rather be on his feet. He throws wild punches, is chased around the ring by Neto looking for the takedown, and fires away again before Neto takes him down once again. The rounr ends with Kawamura on top, and you’d have to think this will go to Kawamura, despite Neto’s silly celebrations. Yep, Kawamura in a unanimous decision. Nice match. Nice trophy, too (as you would expect).

Nick Thompson vs. Fabricio Monteiro

Rd 1

Hey, it’s The Goat. Thompson has about three feet in height on Monteiro. Thompson’s boxing looks sharp in the opening exchanges. Monteiro shoots, Thompson grabs a guillotine (sort of) and is dumped hard. Monteiro triest to pass but ends up on bottom in a scramble. Thompson almost immediately finds himself in a jujigatame attempt, and then a triangle, but escapes and lands a few light shots. A Monteiro leg lock attempt results in a scramble and the fighters back on their feet and clinched before Monteiro takes Thompson down with a nice outside trip (a kosoto rather than osoto gari, for tha headz), works from side mount, but Thompson works back to his feet and it looks like the round is going to end in a clinch in the corner with Thompson getting the better of the striking, but Monteiro has him down and mounted in the final seconds. An impressive first round for both fighters.

Rd 2

Monteiro with leg kicks to start the round, Thompson with good straight punches. Monteiro plants him on his back once again and passes to half guard. And apparently knees to the head are legal! I had been wondering. Monteiro has the mount, and seems more interested in setting up a submission than striking from here. Back to side control, and then somewhat strangely Monteiro seems to want to be in half guard. This is definitely Monteiro’s round at this point. Looking for first a heel hook and then an ankle lock, and then again a heel hook is Monteiro. Thompson ends the round in Monteiro’s guard, landing punches, but it can’t be enough to sway the judges.

Rd 3

Seconds out seconds out, and the final roundo begins with Monteiro looking fresh as a daisy. Thompson clealry has the advantage on his feet, but he’s not had much success defending the takedown. Just as I write that, he managed to land on top after a failed Monteiro attempt, so what do I know. Thompson makes no real effort to pass guard, content to get back to his feet and trade. Monteiro tries a single and Thompson grabs a kimura but ends up on bottom and under side control. Monteiro looks content to hang out there. A knee is briefly on a belly, and ude garami is briefly contemplated, but Monteiro settles on knees to the thigh and hammer fists to end the match, which he . . . wow, loses by unanimous decision. We’ve all seen horrible judging in MMA, especially out of Japan, but this is truly baffling. And Monteiro looks suitably baffled. I am at a loss.

Evangelista Santos vs. Makoto Takimoto

Cyborg is a way bigger dude than Takimoto. And much much scarier, obviously. He lands leg kicks at will, and they sound hideous. Takimoto clinches and fails in osoto gari and kouchi gari attempts — outside and inside trips fail. Cyborg is hurting Takimoto with leg kicks and scaring the shit out of him with head kicks. This is not breaking news, but Takimoto, for all his enormous success in Judo, is clearly not cut out for MMA in the least. He’s clearly has no interest whatsoever in getting getting hit. I’m not hating: I have no interest in that either. Takimoto manages to chill Santos out in guard for a while, but he’s clearly stalling. After a stand up, Takimoto throws a head kick, fails in a takedown attempt, and nowit’s a leglock battle. Takimoto taps to . . . was that an achilles lock? I had heard heel hook, but I don’t think that was a heel hook. It was Takimoto finding a way out, is what it looked like. This is the worst performance of Takimoto’s less than stellar MMA career. I think I’d go so far as to call that performance shameful.

Kazuyuki Fujita vs. Peter Graham

A massive, iron-jawed wrestler against an MMA-inexperienced kickboxer. The file I have opened suggests that this match goes about as long as you’d expect, given that premise. Fujita isn’t messing around, shooting early and often. It takes him about thirty seconds to have Graham down and mounted. Graham is being told by his corner to “get one knee in the middle,” but he can’t and Fujita applies a nice arm triangle (kata gatame, imo) from the north/south position (kami shiho gatame, imo) to finish. No surprises here.

Siyar Bahadurzada vs. Kazuo Misaki

Misaki’s shiny sleeveless hoodies are, I think, the finest sleeveless hoodies I have ever seen. I have quite cleverly copied “Bahadurzada” to the clipboard, which is really the only way to proceed here. Bahadurzada (ctrl+v!) lands a solid right hand, which convinces Misaki to clinch and kosoto gari his way to the mat. From half guard he works for the ude garami/kimura half-outside the ring, which is pretty clever: he’s bending his arm down below the level of the mat. Bahadurzada is defending well enough, and eventually reverses into Misaki’s guard (Misaki thought he had an opening for a jujigatame for a second, but alas). Bahadurzada doesn’t work to pass, but lands some solid shots in the last thirty seconds. You could reasonably score this round either way: Misaki had better position for most of the round, and came reasonably close to a submission, but Bahadurzada landed the better shots.

Rd 2

Bahadurzada definitely outworks Misaki standing in the early going, although both are landing. Bahadurzada shoots, but Misaki counters with a sweet left-side uchi mata. Misaki grabs a guillotine and secures full guard and that’s that. A lovely finishing sequence from Misaki, and it came in a round where he was getting smacked around pretty well on his feet. Hey, it’s Akihiro Gono at ringside! Grabaka: is awesome.

Takanori Gomi vs. Duane Ludwig

Genki Sudo’s in the club tonight, doing the chain, feeling alright. My copy of this fight doesn’t include the ring entrances, but word is Gomi came out to something other than “Scary” by Mad Capsule Markets, which seems to be an indefensible choice. Ludwig looks like a gamer; he’s in over his head but he’s in there throwing. Man, I love it when the Japanese announcers say “jabu.” Gomi lands a big shot and Ludwig is busted up pretty bad. Is his nose broken, or is it just a huge cut on the bridge? I’m guessing broken. And that’s it. Too bad, really. This sounds like damning with feint praise, but Ludwig looked pretty good for the minute or so before his face got busted.

Josh Barnett vs. Hidehiko Yoshida

I’ve already heard the result of this fight, and I’m a Yoshida fan, so I can’t help but watch this with the dread of the inevitable. Of course, that is exactly how I would be watching this fight even if I hadn’t heard the result. Hey, it’s Ogawa! Still sour that Yoshida beat him by decision in the All Japan a decade ago, I bet. Some early pawing by both fighters, and a decent right rook from Yoshida before he clinches, looks for the hip throw, and gets launched in what Yoshida would probably call an ura nage, and what Barnett would probably call a backdrop driver or something (was it a German Suplex, exactly? I’m not as up on my pro wres terminology as I should be for a Barnett fight. OK: the Japanese commentator has clearly called it a German Suplex, and I defer to him). It was, in any event, huge. Hey so Yoshida apparently weighed in at like 239 lbs for this fight, which is outrageous. After an attempted Barnett footsie lock and a stand-up, Yoshida comes very close with an osoto gari, and ends up with a rolling kimura out of a clinch. Yoshida looks alright here (despite the unfortunate suplexing). Barnett ends up in Yoshida’s half guard, and in the final thirty seconds of the round you see the best scrambling you will ever see out of an obese retire judoka and a 250-lbs catch wrestler. That was pretty awesome, I think, and the crowd agrees.

Rd 2

Barnett doesn’t look good on his feet at all. Yoshida looks like Yoshida on his feet. Barnett remember Yoshida’s Achilles heel — he in fact has no knees — and lands a leg kick that sends Yoshida spinning away. Man, Yoshida’s boxing is so much fun. For a guy who pretty much closes his eyes and swings, Yoshida gets truly walloped far less often than you’d expect. Barnett threatens another suplex, but alas, it does not come. Barnett has Yoshida down and mounted, and lands some decent shots before thinking about an armbar as Yoshida bridged and rolled. Barnett is back to the mount and landing good shots before attempting another armbar in the final ten seconds. This fight is awesome.

Rd 3

This is way less depressing than I thought it would be. Of course Yoshida is losing, but has only once come near death. Barnett threatens yet another suplex, but, again, alas. Knees to the side, knee on belly, and a kind of double knee bar attempt, I guess. Barnett has Yoshida in a strange predicament. LOL, I wonder if any of this is bothering Yoshida’s knees? Yes, it would it is, as he screams and taps. Oh, Yoshida. You are totally my guy.

So: a solid card without surprises, this Sengoku — except, I guess, the surprise of Thompson’s decision, which really does rate among the worst decisions you’re likely to see in MMA.